When he listed his manifestations

what was missing?

He is the lion among beasts and the Himalaya

He is the raucous jay and the jet heading eastward

through hurtling clouds   He is the thunderbolt

from him the splayed sequoia   the floundering helicopter

Self-existing in all things he is unshakeable power

 

He is the ape at the apex of the Ziggurat

the ape-man who bullied me into compliance

He is my will others tried to break   my determination

my mean-spirited weakness-homing eagle eye

that tore me apart

From him trauma   betrayals  mordant thoughts

 

I long for her   the one who spoke saying

You daughter whatever you are I will cherish

Whatever you undertake I will bless

Whomever you love I will take into my house

a welcome guest and their lives shall be a gift

 

When my son cradled his son in his arms

wasn’t it she who let him know this birth

had changed him forever?  Wasn’t it she

who in my husband’s hand drew a corny heart-card

and we kissed and made up because

I was furious when he said

Why are you giving your opinions   No one is listening

Your words cannot affect the world

 

Wasn’t it she in his slippers who went out in the rain

to measure inches in the gage?

she who kept us awake burbling through the downspout

she the revenging ocean that washed away our insouciance?

Isn’t she in the quick of every moment

the tawny post office lady chuckling in the empty post office

saying   Sometimes it happens this way?