No I refuse I will not cease to be me
this name this birthdate these secret codes
are mine No to the sneak-thief hiding backstage
too human to name devil
a coward money-mad or just for the lark of it
to prove all that claims to be honest and true
has been for him a lie who must maintain one stance
life’s great illusion is for others
not a fool! not I!
What trauma what shame did him in
stole his capacity for empathy even for himself
that knowledge that grace
that ghost-like soul he cannot sense or trust
and I – a folly-prone old woman
a child taught by necessity to obey
felt the threat or else
lose all your qualities every core-respondence
would disappear you will cease to be
By fakery deceived you did what was demanded
turmoil agitation confusion followed
even midnight tears
then a fraud-protection guy in empathetic tone
told me you are not alone
and then I said No
knowing full well it’s never done
until I cease to be today tomorrow
this identity will cease to be